Just like in FloMax
commercials, men love doing manly things. And they also love peeing.
If this weekend's boys' trip to St. Louis with Putty is any indication,
Walt is going to be a great man. We climbed, slid, spit, ate, slept,
watched baseball and peed our way through the Midwest. But most of all
we peed. And by "we", I mean "Walt."
The kid's bladder must be the size of an M&M.
But seriously. We did have fun between bathroom breaks. First stop: Lambert's - The Only Home of Throwed Rolls. Or in Waltspeak, "The restaurant what throws bread at you." He was a fan.
After stuffing ourselves with bread "what was throwed at us," fried okra and "some fried whatever that man has," it was time for a nap. One of many.
Being men, by the time we made it to St. Louis two hours later, we were starving, of course. Time for some frozen custard at the should-be-world-famous Ted Drewes Frozen Custard. You haven't had ice cream until you've had this stuff. 300 people jammed up against the counter on a Friday night can't be wrong. It was like we were all 13-year old girls and the Jonas Brothers were under those yellow lights.
Here it is in the daylight (about thirty years ago). Photo credit: www.teddrewes.com
Next morning, on the advice of many Memphis parents, we fueled up on man food like coffee and . . . uh . . . muffins . . . ok . . . this man theme is breaking down earlier than I thought it would. But, I mean seriously, we had to get to the museum, you know? 'Cuz we're MEN!
If there was a museum for men and boys, it would be City Museum in St. Louis. It is at least four floors, a roof and a courtyard of an old warehouse, all on steroids (no offense Mark McGwire). A playground for kids and their parents. It's kind of hard to explain, and it's not the kind of place you would think a 62-year old Vietnam vet and grandfather would choose to spend a Saturday. To be honest, he didn't; I kind of made him, but it was Putty who was planning the next trip to the Lou before we even hit the city limits headed home. He even unleashed this gem about halfway through the visit:
"This is better than Ranger School!"
Better than Ranger School indeed. Ranger School didn't have a ball pit.
As usual, our one attempt at a group photo was foiled by a strong-willed and hungry four-year old.
Strangely, I think we only went to the restroom once the whole time we were at the museum. I can't really explain that. 'Cuz after another nap, we went to Busch Stadium for a Cardinals game, where if we visited the little baseball fans room once, we went seven times. No joke.
If my daddy were the big-time lawyer he claims to be, these would be our seats.
But he's not. Putty, thanks for bringing your binoculars. Daddy, where are you? I gotta go potty!
Hey! We were in the park. Barely. Kind of like the Cards barely showed up. They lost 4-2. But Albert Pujols, "the best hitter on the planet" according to the Cardinals play-by-play guy, did have an RBI to add to his MLB-leading 89, and he gave the Cardinals their only lead of the game. Walt and I, of course, were in the men's room listening on the radio. Seriously.
Did I mention that Walt got a new hat? He likes to wear it low.
But wait! There's more.
Men love animals. Heck. Men are animals. Am I right, ladies? Am I right? Ohhhh. Tough crowd. And a tough segue, but it's late, and this is turning into the longest post in the history of Walt's World. Basically, I'm trying to say that we went to the zoo. Here are some pictures.
Where IS that potty???
Found it.
At the zoo, we finally remembered to bring Walt's camera, so he spent the entire abbreviated visit snapping photos of everything in sight.
The funniest part about Walt the Wildlife Photographer was that if he couldn't find the animal in the exhibit, he would just crib off the guy who took the photo for the informational placard on the exhibit itself. Classic Walt!
We even saw a chimp in the gift shop.
And two more on the fence outside. (Oof. My jokes are getting worse and worse.)
Time to wrap this up. I'm tired. And rumor has it, Putty got caught in traffic on the way back to Nashvegas. I know three men who are going to be exhausted in the morning. We've come a long way since Friday afternoon. And we've seen a lot of toilets.
